3 Things to STOP Doing to A Teen Mom
I had just turned seventeen when I got pregnant with my son. I was terrified to tell my mom about my pregnancy, especially since she was a single mom. Unfortunately, that is not what I should have been worried about; I should have been concerned about how the world would react many years later to me being a Teen MOM.
The hardest part about being a Teen Mom is the shame you feel, even after your child grows up and you are no longer a teen. No Matter how old I get the look and questions from people is a stark reminder of my shameful feelings of becoming a Teen Mom.
Here is what I wish People Knew and would stop doing to a Teen Mom.
Don’t Remind Me
The number one question I get after I tell someone I have a son that is eighteen-years-old is:
“OMG, how old are you?
My reaction is always the same, “ Not old enough.”
Listen I know that I look too young to have a teenager. That when he was a baby people looked at me and asked if I was the babysitter. But guess what?! It happened, and I don’t need a reminder that I am too young to be the mom of a teenager.
So just say it in your mind, heck call your friend and gossip about it. But please stop asking me or any other young mom how old they are. It is just a slap in the face!
“How do you do it? I Can’t imagine!
No, you can’t imagine it. But I am sure you felt the same way when you finally decided to have a child of your own. So let me ask you, ” How do You do it? You just do! Sure there are many trial and error moments, and others that are just plain out of your control. But, for the most part, you have managed to be a MOM and parent, well so have I. No matter the age it is still all the same concept.
Lucky for moms now that they do have mommy blogs to get support and advice. I just had my mom and sisters and the hope that I didn’t screw him up!
The same way you learned to be a parent is the same way I did. I was young and dumb, but I was still a mom. Along the way, I made a butt load of mistakes, but I Just Did it!
Do You Need a Mirror?
Something crazy happens when I tell someone I have a son that is half my age. It’s like they lose all ability to act like a human. Their eyes widen, they start shifting from side to side, and the atmosphere becomes super uncomfortable. An awkward silence begins to consume the conversation and sometimes it just abruptly ends.
When people react that way it instantly brings on a wave of shame that covers me from the inside out. Body language is more expressive than any words that can be expressed verbally. Additionally, it can’t lie, pretty much telling me how you feel about Teen pregnancy and subsequently me.
Listen, yes, no one wants, including me, to be a Teen Mom but it happened. I can’t change it, and I am not upset about it anymore. It does not make me less of a human or mother. It just means that I made a mistake in my youth that gave me a beautiful miracle. At the end of the day, I am no different than a mom who had a child in her thirties. Please just treat me the same way you would want to be treated, it is that simple.
I am a human just like you and a parent just like you. The only difference is that I been a parent longer and ill get to enjoy my adult years earlier. Treat me as your equal, stop asking me questions you already know the answer to, and we will all be fine.
A famous Mexican Singer once said “Lo que se ve no se pregunta!” (“What is seen does not need to be asked!”) In other words, the next time a Mom tells you her child age and it is half her own age, just say “that’s lovely” and move on with the conversation.
How About You:
- Are you a Teen Mom, is there anything you would add to the list?
- What is the biggest Takeaway From my Post?