Welcome to My World!
My name is Wilmari Eckerson; I am a Jesus Follower, Wife, Mother, PMDD Suffer, Hotmessentrepernuer, lover all things pink, and a Reality T.V Junkie, that moonlights as a Twitter shit talker at night!
In a former life, I was an experienced Paralegal. But I was also bitter, hateful, and angry all the time. I knew I did not want to live my life that way anymore and I also didn’t want to be known as an angry person. God must have known it was my time to start changing my life because he blessed me with my third baby boy around the same time I was feeling this way.
Thankfully God blessed my husband with a job that could support our family. That is when I decided to become a stay-at-home-mom.
I Built It
I knew in my heart that God had created me, kept me, and guided me in life to reach out to women that are lost, hurt, or feel unloved. One of the many “plans” I had envisioned for my stay-at-home-mom life, was to go to school get a degree in Clinical Psychology so that I can help t women overcome lifes struggles and live their best life now.
True to his form God had other plans! Soon after my baby was born, I developed severe PMDD(Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), resulting in many episodes of severe depression, anxiety, irritability, and many other symptoms that impacted both my life and marriage. For many months I would be stuck in this cycle of three weeks of sanity and one week of feeling completely insane. Try explaining that to another person, they look at you like you are crazy (something I was already feeling.)
But I still wanted to reach women, and now even more than ever because I knew that there were many women out there suffering in silence. That’s when I launched A Committed Heart, a blog geared to women that struggled with mental illness. As I started working on my blog, I found that my love for women with similar afflictions as my own had become my primary focus. I started writing more about PMDD and advocating for myself and all the beautiful women that suffer from PMDD. Additionally, I created a support group on Facebook called Committed PMDD Sisters.
Yet, I also wanted to make money, after working since the age of 15, not having your own money can be hard on you. I also felt I was starting to lose a little of my self in just doing the blog on PMDD, being a mom, and a wife. Not that there is anything wrong with that if it is what you want for your own life. But it was never my dream, I always dreamed of being a Boss and building an empire that would facilitate my ultimate goal of a Women’s Center. Six months after I launched my blog, I decided to join a Direct Sales company to obtain my dream.
At this time I was actually doing pretty decent in my blog. I was starting to be recognized in the PMDD community and I was asked to write a post for Vicious Cycle and to volunteer for a Peer Support Group at IAPMD. All really from a post I wrote called “Dear The Doctors: “Period Rage” Has A Name & A Face.”
I was excited about the upcoming year, my blog was doing well in the PMDD community and I was happy. The next thing to happen for me was that my Direct Sales business was going to make me financially free so, I can then Finally Build the Women’s Center. I jumped head first into a Direct Sales company that I felt was aligned with my view and values. Blindly seeking something I thought was guaranteed!
The Truth I Never Saw Coming
I was excited about my blog, my business, and my life. I was ready to see growth in all areas of my life and I knew I was on the right path.
Oh, how wrong I was!
In my mind, I really believed that success would come easily and quickly. That I would join a company and everyone would be just as excited about it as I was. That my blog would not suffer from my plan of growing a business. That I had somehow mastered the art of blogging, networking, and life all in a short period of time.
The truth was I was not ready for any of that to happen, I had not paid my dues, or come at it from an Authentic place. I was living a life that was based on a false perception of myself. So when it got hard, and my blog didn’t grow and I did not make the income other where making, I Quit, and told myself it wasn’t for me.
But the dream stayed in me and nagged me every day, it would not quit, I kept seeing it! After a few months of self-loathing, I decided it was time to make a change, I refused to believe that this is what God wanted for my life. I refused to believe that I was the only person on this earth that could not have the same success I saw in others.
I pulled myself up by my pj pants straps and did what the world tells us not to do I got professional help. I went to counseling, more specific Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I was determined to change my thinking and the way I behaved. I decided to attack my inner demons, the ones that made me;
- A wannabe, molding my self to those around me,
- Fear rejection to the point of avoidance,
- Extremely Self Critical (still a work in progress,)
- A Quitter,
- A Fraud!
I faced the buried hurt, failures, lies, and darkens deep down inside of me of the past 36 years. It was painful, I mean so painful, but I was not going back to living my life feeling like a failure. I was not going to reach my Dreams. So I took inventory of my life, thought about what I really wanted and worked really, really Hard on myself.
To be continued
This is a lifelong process, personal development never ends. But I am so thankful that God got me to that place of self-destruction. I would not have had the courage otherwise to find my Authentic Self, otherwise. I still don’t have all the answers to world problems. But I am one step closer to reaching my dreams.
I am ready to let the world see the REAL, AUTHENTIC, & CRAZY Me. The mom that does not have everything together. A Jesus follower that sometimes curses and always sins. A woman that forgets just about everything, including her age. The woman that struggles with PMDD once a month. An entrepreneur that makes her own path. A blogger that writes whatever she wants, while reaching the WOMEN that need to hear her voice the most! I am an introvert that will maximize her personality to fulfill her purpose. I am a boss babe that refuses to let the mistake of choosing the wrong company, bring her financial dreams to an end! I am a woman that lets her freak flag fly HIGH and proud!
I am Wilmari Eckerson.
Join Me, let me help you change life one moment at a time. I help women like you and me, be who they are, to live Authentically. To build the life of their dreams without compromising their personality!
Thank You for taking the time to check out my blog, and I hope you decide to stay awhile. If there is anything you would like me to discuss in a future blog post don’t be afraid to drop me a line or leave a comment. I look forward to sharing my life with you.
I love you & you matter to me!
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